Is Divorce a Sin?

Churches proclaim divorce to be a sin with certain exceptions. These exceptions depend on which church you attend. Some believe divorce is a sin unless there is sexual infidelity, but what about abuse or neglect of a spouse? Most would say that sexual infidelity may warrant a divorce, but an abused spouse may be recommended a separation until the abuser gets help, and a neglected spouse may be recommended to try and save the marriage. There are a number of ways to save a marriage. But there are also many different factors in different situations; it is difficult to find God’s will based on one rule to stay married except for sexual infidelity. Even then, sexual infidelity does not automatically demand a divorce.

Further complications include how the divorced are treated by the church. If a spouse who was abused or neglected by his or her spouse had a relationship with a kind friend that turned sexual, one of the spouses would be free to divorce and marry again and even serve as a church leader, and the other may be judged and shunned by people in the church. Which do you think is which? While both sides contributed to the breaking of the covenant of marriage, the side that sexually erred is often blamed the most.

Divorce is a legal issue, and some treat the Bible as a legal document to justify or condemn divorce. The Bible moves from rules and regulations in the Old Testament toward behavior based on a growing personal relationship with God. Laws are an external demand. God wants more than external change. He wants internal change through a personal interactive relationship. Both the Old and New Testament are also clear about God’s intention for marriage. While the Old Testament permitted divorce, the New Testament made clear what the Old Testament also made clear: God meant marriage to last. The Bible underscores the need to save marriages. There is no doubt divorce has major negative consequences on a person and the family. There are a number of options to take before divorce is unavoidable. However, if one does not view the Bible as a legal document addressing every circumstance, the justification for divorce is not captured by rules alone. It is based on one’s relationship with God and other Biblical values that come into play.

So one’s view of divorce may rest on one’s view of the Bible. Is the Bible like a legal document that covers all situations? Or does the Bible present principles that need to be applied to individual situations? Either view can support the high value of saving the marriage and that divorce is only acceptable if a party crosses this line: sexual infidelity. But, does that position address every situation? Is the New Testament more restrictive than the Old in that divorce was permitted but now is not?

There is a line between the position that Biblical rules have no exceptions except what is stated, and the opposite position that rationalizes one’s decisions to the point that they are not based on Biblical principles nor a personal relationship with God. Each one must look to their own conscience and ask if they are seeking God in their decisions, and especially in this decision to divorce. This may be difficult to do without consultation. Most likely at the point of divorce there have been sins committed on both sides; each side has to take responsibility for their own by examining the impact of his or her behavior on the other, expressing sincere remorse, making a commitment to the marriage and making sustainable changes. However, one’s position on the issue of divorce that comes from a personal relationship with God and Biblical values like justice, mercy and grace is ultimately preferable than one that merely follows rules.

God is a God of redemption. God seeks to restore that which was lost, and make it better. “Plan A” is preferred, but God can create a “Plan B,” even after divorce. David, a man after God’s own heart, required a “Plan B” after he committed adultery with a woman who later became his wife. Their son was chosen to be heir to a throne over the son of his first wife. This lineage led to Jesus Himself. This Old Testament story is one of many underscoring the message of a God who takes the bad and turns it around for good for those who return to God after their sin. Consequences remain, but redemption has the last word. Is the New Testament meant to imprison people in unholy relationships, only to punish them indefinitely after a divorce? Does the Old Testament convey more grace under the Law than the New Testament where people are covered by God’s mercy and grace? The Pharisees in the New Testament followed the law but missed important values in applying the law. Instead, the more one builds a relationship with God based on personal and didactic knowledge of Him (as revealed through reliable sources) the more clarity on this personal decision. The decision has to be personal because very few want a marriage based merely on duty, and such a relationship is bound not to last. In contrast, while God does not control people, He also may be the one resource that enables one to save the marriage.

"If life has knocked you down, I prophesy that you will Rise & Walk"

Temptation

We can learn a lot about Satan’s temptations by studying the temptation of Jesus. In order for Jesus to become our Savior, His character needed to be built up and established through the temptations to sin which He resisted and overcame. In the temptation of Jesus, Satan used three specific strategies to tempt Him.

Lust of the flesh. Jesus was led into the wilderness where He fasted forty days and nights. This time of fasting set the stage for His temptation. After fasting Satan came to Jesus and said, “if thou be the Son of God, command these stones to be made bread”. Satan knew that Jesus would be hungry after His many days of fasting and challenged Him to satisfy his hunger. The wilderness setting made this temptation very powerful. Lust is a desire to have something and the flesh is the physical part of us that is able to enjoy the pleasures which the flesh lusts after. We are able to receive pleasure through our physical senses. We can see, taste, touch, smell, and hear things that bring pleasure to our heart, mind and soul through our body. We can understand how powerful this temptation would be. After forty days of fasting anyone would be extremely hungry and it would be easy to lust after food that would satisfy our flesh.

Jesus knew that giving into fleshly lust would be sinful. Jesus answered Satan’s temptation by saying, “It is written man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God”. In using the word man, Jesus was affirming His intentions to live on earth as a human, subject to the needs and hungers that pull us into sin. Even in a physically weakened condition, Jesus did not seek strength from His divine nature to resist Satan. Notice how Jesus defeated this temptation. It was by the intelligent use of God’s Word for Jesus said, “It is written”. Jesus is indicating that it is more important to feed on God’s Word to strengthen our soul’s spiritual condition, than to feed on things to strengthen our physical condition. We have the same tool for defeating temptations of fleshly lust today, God’s Word. Jesus naturally desired to satisfy His hunger and give in to the lust of the flesh, but to use His divine power for selfish needs would dishonor God. We have many natural desires of the flesh in which dishonor is brought to God when we seek to fulfill them.

Lust of the eyes. When Jesus refused Satan’s first temptation, immediately Satan takes a new approach. Since Satan could not persuade Jesus to dishonor God, he attempted to seduce Jesus into a presumptuous use of God’s power to further His mission as Redeemer. In this new approach, Satan took Jesus into the holy city and set Him on a pinnacle of the temple. The holy city reflects a place set apart for God. Placing Jesus in this position put Jesus as close to God as possible. Satan knows how to put people in position for failure. Satan this time says to Jesus, “if thou be the Son of God cast thyself down. For it is written, He shall give His angels charge concerning thee, and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.” In this temptation it is Satan that uses the Word of God. Satan stands at Jesus’ side and says, “Look down there at that crowd of people, all expectant and waiting for the coming of their Messiah. Now is the time to proclaim yourself as the Messiah.” Satan says, “Trust God and leap. If you land safely from this height you will prove yourself the Messiah. So shall you escape the long sacrifice and the awful shame of the Cross.”

This temptation was to encourage Jesus to take an easier path to power instead of the self-denying path of the Cross. Satan is suggesting to Jesus that if He would cast Himself down and be miraculously delivered, thus dazzling the eyes of the crowd (the lust of the eyes) He will prove Himself the Son of God. Jesus’ answer to this second temptation also came from the Word of God. Jesus said, “it is written thou shall not tempt the Lord thy God.” The Gospel writer Luke saw this temptation as the greatest of the three. We all have times when we feel that God has deserted us. The issue here may be seen as putting God to the test. Is the Lord with us or not?

The Pride of Life. Satan had failed tempting Jesus twice but doesn’t give up. He is now making his third attempt. Satan takes Jesus into a high mountain and shows Him all the kingdoms of the world. Here again Satan sets the stage by putting Jesus and the world in position. Satan shows the condition of the world to Jesus. He shows Jesus all the misery and corruption. Satan shows Jesus that with his help Jesus can rule all and lead the world. Satan offers Jesus all the kingdoms of the world if He would fall down and worship him. This temptation is seen by Matthew as the greatest of the three. Satan was offering to deprive himself of what rightfully belonged to Jesus on the condition that Jesus accepted the authority of the world on Satan’s principles. Jesus knew what Satan was showing Him would eventually become His, but Satan was offering them now. Jesus could have fallen to Satan’s temptation and all His suffering, rejection, and pain of death could have been avoided. Satan was suggesting to Jesus to take pride in Himself and raise Himself to Satan’s position, ruler of the world. If Jesus would submit to the temptation He could then force men to do His will. Jesus’ mission was not to compel obedience but to change the hearts of men. Satan lured Jesus into sin by the pride of life. The pride of being the ruler of the world. Satan was tempting Jesus to gain the world by abandoning the Father to become Satan’s accomplice. Our own pride often tempts us to abandon our heavenly Father and His ways for a little glory in this world.

Jesus again used God’s Word and said to Satan, “For it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve.” Jesus is telling Satan point blank that He cannot offer Him enough to turn from God and serve him. Jesus refused to submit to Satan’s challenges even though He would have to face further suffering. We all face future suffering. Jesus gave complete commitment to the will of God which was His path to the throne. There is no other way and there are no short cuts. Our commitment to God’s will leads us also to our heavenly rewards. We cannot get there by falling into the temptations and snares that Satan sets for us.

After the temptations, Satan leaves Jesus and the angels came. Satan had offered everything he could at the most vulnerable time. He carried out all three strategies. He works with us in the same way. When one trial fails, he tries again.

It is amazing how Jesus’ temptations illustrate our own. Jesus had to cope with His great hunger as he was tempted to His lust of the flesh. We too, are tempted to satisfy our lusts of the flesh; our hungers and appetites. Jesus had to cope with His desire to satisfy the lust of the eyes. As He was shown the people in the temple He struggled with what they would see if He cast Himself down from the pinnacle. We too, are tempted to do things that are pleasing to our sight and the things that make us look good in the sight of others. Jesus had to cope with His pride as He was tempted to receive the power to rule the world. For some of us, it is our pride that is sometimes the greatest of the three temptations. We refuse to follow God’s way for fear of failure. We submit to Satan’s challenges because they give us strength today.

There are four lessons to be learned from Jesus’ temptations.

1. Jesus was truly determined to be a servant. He did not stop being God, but freely set aside His rights as being God. In choosing to empty and humble Himself, Jesus displayed God’s pathway to dominion. Many of us try to control things of this world by manipulating and using any force available to us.

2. Jesus’ full identification with us in our humanity offers hope. If Jesus had not overcome the tempter in His nature as God, we could not expect to overcome temptation.

3. Jesus’ responses to the tempter spotlights resources we can draw from to overcome temptation. In each case, Jesus used the Word of God and chose His principle to live by.

4. Jesus is portrayed as a person in full control of Himself. He demonstrated the authority of one who has gained power to humble Himself; power to submit to God; power to give up our rights; and power to obey.

Jesus established His character through the temptation by resisting sin and overcoming Satan’s challenges. Christians should build their character in the same fashion. Temptation leaves it’s mark on us, whether we have victory as Jesus did, or fail defeated and yield to it’s enticements. The result of that mark which cuts deep into the soul, is our character; either good or bad.

"If life has knocked you down, I prophesy that you will Rise & Walk"

The Heart

God works through the heart (Jeremiah 31:33). It is out of the heart that we connect with God (Romans 10:10). We are told not to lose heart (Galatians 6:9). What does the heart represent in the Bible?  The definition of the heart in the Bible includes the conjunction of emotion, knowledge and the will. Each of these parts has an effect on the other parts; each part cannot be separated from the other parts.

In the story of the prodigal son, the father’s love for his wayward son was one of emotion, and not just from reasoning or just his commitment to his son. The father did not respond to his son just because it was the right thing to do, or because he was forcing his will to comply. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him (Luke 15:20).” It was the combination of all three parts – emotion, knowledge, and the will, that serves as a model for the love of God for us, and as a model for the love we are to have for others.

In contrast, in the description of a religious sect, Jesus describes their knowledge and their commitment, but questions their motivation. He compares them to white-washed tombs, beautiful on the outside but dead on the inside. He compares them with a dirty cup, again presentable on the outside, but the inside is corrupt (Matthew 23:25-27). Here again, rationality and dedication are insufficient if not corresponding to honest emotions. Paul also points to the knowledge of God alone being insufficient (Romans 1:21).

What if our desire, knowledge or will is lacking? God builds desire in us (Philippians 2:13), and for that we have to turn to Him.

"If life has knocked you down, I prophesy that you will Rise & Walk"

Truth: First Priority of a Disciple Maker

Disciple making is spreading the DNA of Jesus. The DNA of Jesus is truth, relationships and mission. Jesus embodied this genetic code and passed it onto his disciples.

Let’s begin with passing on Truth. Jesus called his disciples to be with him. He built the relationship before he began teaching them. Grace precedes truth. Once the relationship is formed, it’s time to introduce people to the truth of Scripture. Whether a seeker or a believer, non-Christian or Christian, the first priority is the steady intake of divine truth. God’s truth changes people. As a disciple maker, you simply ask, “Would you be willing to read and talk about the Bible with me?”

In the Parable of the Sower (Mark 4), Jesus taught his disciples that the “seed” was the word of God. The seed contained the DNA of truth that the disciples must take into their life to be transformed into the likeness of Jesus. Further, he reminded them that the “soil” was the human heart. Through this basic, organic illustration Jesus taught one simple lesson: Since there is nothing wrong with the seed (Word of God), the level of fruitfulness depends on the receptivity and condition of the human heart that receives it.

Disciple-making involves obeying the Scriptures. This means reading and discussing the truth of God’s Word (in context) with another person or small group. First, decide on a portion of Scripture (consecutive chapters) that the group will read. Between five and thirty chapters per week is a realistic expectation. When you meet together, simply begin with these two questions: “What did God tell you to do?” and “What are you going to do about it?”

Most men love to read the sports page but not the Bible. Many people view Bible reading as a chore. The only way to fall in love with the Word of God is to read the Word of God. I meet one-on-one with several men on a monthly basis. Our mutual commitment is to read a minimum of thirty to fifty chapters of Scripture per month.

What happens when a person reveals that he didn’t have time to finish his Scripture reading for that week or month? You have the opportunity to lovingly ask him to examine his priorities. In Mark 4, the seed that fell on the thorny ground was choked out by other interests and worries. If we’re too busy to read the Bible, we’re too busy. There is no other source of truth. Divine truth is the Word of God inspired by the Spirit of God.

Many believers regularly meet with a small group and merely listen to a lesson that someone else prepared. Usually very little life change takes place. Why? God’s Word grows and bears the most fruit when we choose to read it. Listening to another person’s “lesson” is like going to a gym and watching someone else work out. You may learn some techniques, but you will never lose weight or get in shape by merely watching others exercise.

There are no short cuts. The seed is the Word of God. Truth comes into our life to the degree that the Scriptures come into our heart. Jesus died for us but will not read for us.

"If life has knocked you down, I prophesy that you will Rise & Walk"